hi.

deactivate

I deactivated my facebook. 
There’s no temporary deactivation for Tumblr though and I didn’t want to delete it either.
So I’m not coming back on here until April? I hope this works.
Bye.  

still up and still not done;( im gonna go upstairs and read my times magazine <3 one of my true hobbies:) this is random, but I really want high school and college to be over. and then I want to turn 23. and then get married. I am so tired. goodnight. 

spending the night adding songs to my shuffle. haven’t updated it since 2009 :o 

I don’t know how else to put it but maybe it’s all a wake up call. Too obsessed maybe? Too consumed by thinking about you? Am I being punished? Or was this supposed to be obvious but I was too stupid to see it? You are sneaky. So sneaky

so glad no school tomorrow. I need a Friends marathon so I could watch it all day and forget about the whole world. I am shocked. Suddenly the people I thought I knew are so fake. Okay, I’m being too extreme. Not fake, but 2-sided?! One side looks so pure, which is the one I saw. The other one was a playa. LOL how could I fall in that trap. what’s the word for 황당? because that’s what I’m feeling right now. How can you move on so quickly from her to her to her to her to her to her. 

I am going to kill you SAM CHOI

Went to Awana today. I love my kindergarten boys so much. They are so adorable and hard not to love, but very hard to handle. I guess another 2012 resolution is to depend on God, not dealing with things on my own strength. I can’t believe I didn’t keep track of their birthdays and 2 of their birthdays are this week. I’m so sad I didn’t get them presents…next week frsures! 

I hate school so much. Is there really any more reason to go? I don’t even want to go thru the graduation process, just want to go right into college and dorm life. I hate studying. There. I said it. If I hate it and decide not to do it, am I really gonna get nowhere in life? 

These days, I’ve been sleeping for 3+ hours right after school and barely getting homework done, and then waking up at 4am to finish it. I barely stay awake in 1st, 2nd, and 6th period. I have attention problems. Seriously, in class the lectures go in one ear and out the other; I really have no idea what we learn. Gosh, I hope I can drop stats. Why do I always challenge myself to take an ap class I can’t put up with and then die in it.. 

Now we have senior saturdays? What are we going to do? hmmmm

I wish I could just relax and take my mind off of everything in life. I love just reading books and magazines on my bed, taking night walks and rewatching vintage shows. Honestly, sometimes I wish life was that simple and I’d greatly appreciate if I could live like that everyday but then it would be so purposeless, so meaningless, and so lonesome. There’s definitely a greater purpose why I’m here, I just need to get back on track. 

I guess I’m not a talk-on-the-phone person. Everyone hates me for never answering the phone or giving return calls. I just suck at it ok? 

I always thought that I missed my past so much, but I just realized that I would never want to go back to it. Now and the future looks a hundred times better than my past. Again I’m reminded to thank God for being so good to me. 

I want to be a benefit to everyone around me. To my mom, my grandma, and Ellen. I know I can be a better sister if I tried. I want to be benefit to my friends too, not just a 농땡이. To everything that I’m commited to serving, all the ministries I’m involved in. 

Prayer, prayer, prayer, prayer. Will be back on that one.